Grindr Offline: What does it mean when you see “offline” status on a Grindr profile?

So you chatted with a guy on Grindr earlier (or they tapped you) and when you checked his profile a few hours later, it says “offline.” Does offline mean that they’re actually offline or did they block you? Maybe they deleted the app or is it  something else?

You reached this because you’re a bit confused (as many of us have been) about what offline actually means on the gay hookup app.

What “offline” actually means on Grindr

It might seem like an easy answer (especially to smartasses) as the oppoite of “offline” simply means they’re not online, but with those paying attention Grindr “offline” appears as it means something entirely different.

Here’s why: You chatted with the said profile 6 hours ago, yet there are other guys you chatted up further out that shows a more accurate timestamp when they were last “online” such as “11 hours ago” or even as far as “22 days ago.

See? Freakin’ 11 days ago, but you chatted with him four hours ago. That logic makes no sense — what gives? Why is some dude you chatted up offline even though you talked to them 5 hours ago while others that haven’t logged on in 8 hours, shows that they were online… well, “8 hours  ago?

The meaning of offline on Grindr is confusing to say the least. Let’s clear that up.

Offline acually means incognito in Grindr terms

It turns out that the “offline” status isn’t as straightforward as it sounds. You see Grindr has several membership levels. One of those paid subscription levels is Unlimited and an Unlimited membership gives you the ability to select “incognito mode.”

According to the details of Grindr Unlimited, incognito mode not only “hides your profile from the Grindr grid while still allowing you to freely use the app” but while in that mode, your profile status will display offline to other profiles that choose to tap or message you.

So when you see a Grindr profile that’s saying “offline,” it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re actually offline at that point in time (though they might be!).

In incognito mode, Grindr users can be online yet don’t want anyone to know they’re online. With the offline status, their Grindr footprint is completely masked in this mode, they won’t appear in any “Viewed Me” nor will any Read Receipts be sent — meaning they can leave you on read without you knowing.

Even so, don’t read too deep into it.,,,

Offline doesn’t mean they’re not interested in you…

…it just means they want to appear offline. For whatever reasons.

With Grindr, it’s not hard to take things personally as we put ourseleves out there for others to judge us. We put our best photos and our interests in hopes of making a connection with someone you’re attracted to.

Putting yourself out there like that isn’t easy and when being vulnerable, we often create negative narratives in our head that may not exist. So it’s really important to say that because someone you’ve chatted with earlier, or showed interest, is now in “offline” mode doesn’t mean they’re avoiding you or not interested or find you ugly.

No one said that except you.

As we all know, connections on Grindr are mostly fleeting even when you get a positive response. That’s because when someone logs into the app may want something different and that intent migh change from time to time. It all depends on that person, their mood, time of day, what they’re doing and the place in which they’re online.

Someone may be using Grindr just to chat or to waste time while at work, others might be serious about hooking up for “friends or fun” right now, while others might be looking for a deeper connection.

Whatever the case, some pay a good chunk of money to appear offline.

Keep that in mind when you’re feeling hurt, sad or rejected by someone that showed interest or tapped you, but is now offline. You shouldn’t immediately take that to heart or as a judgement on your looks as you have no idea what that other person is doing or thinking or intended. Grindr can be great for those that meets society’s criteria of what’s “handsome,” and for those of us that are not, the rejecion can be take a toll on mental health.

The person could be busy at work, stepped away from the app, walking around in public, or at dinner with family. All we know is that they paid a premium price so they don’t appear to be online. That’s their choice and not on you at all. 

A short history of clubbing: How nightclubbing has evolved through the decades

 

For many young people around the world, visiting a nightclub for the first time is a rite of passage and an initiation into adulthood. 

However, it isn’t just fun, dancing and merriment that has made nightclubs such important social and cultural institutions in the modern world. In reality, nightclubs have a complex history that is filled with unexpected twists and turns.

Nowadays, we find ourselves in an era where nightclubs are ubiquitous and hyper-commercialised.

In fact, nightclubs have become such a common sight in the landscape of our nightlife that you see them cropping up in unexpected locations such as hotels and even casinos, where hourly jackpots and the whirring of a roulette wheel combine with the thumping bass of electronic music you would usually associate with nightclubs. Whilst casinos and nightclubs have not traditionally been paired together, combinations like this are increasingly common nowadays as nightclubs become ever prevalent and popular.as unique social spaces.

This was not always the case, however, and in previous decades nightclubs were very much an ‘underground’ affair.

History of nightclubs

The exact origins of nightclubs are somewhat difficult to pin down, however, and much of this difficulty is connected to how you define and characterize nightclubs to begin with.

If you define a nightclub simply as a night-time space you can visit that serves alcohol and provides you with a space to dance in, nightclubs have existed in some form for hundreds of years. On the other hand, if you define them more narrowly as spaces with dancing, alcohol, party drugs and DJs spinning electronic music, this history has much shallower roots.

Despite these difficulties, the origins of the modern nightclub are generally accepted to have roots in the ballrooms and dancehalls of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Eventually, other music and dance venues emerged, such as jazz clubs, which gave these night-time spaces more of an underground edge. The next evolution of the night club came during the 1940s and 1950s as youth culture experienced a post-War explosion.

By the 1970s, discotheques — or discos as they are more popularly known — had spread across many parts of the world and increasingly replaced the more traditional dancehalls. Notably, this is also when the DJ started to become a more important figure in the nightclub world.

Technological innovations were also important in contributing to these developments, which allowed for the provision of music without the need to rely on a live band to provide the music. It also allowed nightclubs to become increasingly international spaces, with music from all over the world now possible to play without having to invite a live band.

Contemporary club culture as we know it today, however, began to emerge in earnest during the late 1980s and early 1990s, when the nightclub became an important part of youth culture. This was also when nightclubs entered into the mainstream, which had both negative and positive aspects. On the one hand, the popularization of nightclubs helped to increase the number of these spaces. On the other hand, by becoming so popular, many nightclubs were stripped of their more radical or transgressive elements.

Perhaps most importantly, it was in and around the 1980s and 1990s that the classic ‘sound’ of the nightclub began to emerge. Inspired by the industrial sounds of the cities where nightclubs were often located, the music popularly played in nightclubs was uniquely reflective of the modern age.

Given the importance of the city itself in the development of nightclub culture, the sounds associated with particular nightclub ‘scenes’ were in many respects a reflection of the urban landscape they emerged from.

For example, hyper industrialized urban landscapes like Chicago and Detroit pioneered ‘House’ and ‘Techno’ music in the 1980s. With places like Berlin being an epicenter for electronic music in the decade before.

Eventually, these urban sounds made their way over to the European scene. In places like Berlin and London, the modern shape of the nightclub scene began to emerge. Berlin still maintains its status as a mecca for nightclubbing, with locations like Tresor and Berghain drawing in hundreds of thousands of music fans each year.

Other European locations also fostered their own nightclubbing scenes. Manchester in particular proved to be a hub for the aptly known ‘Club Cathedrals’ which produced some of the defining sounds of the mid-1990s, particularly from places like the Haçienda.

A confluence of political, social and cultural upheavals occurring towards the tail end of the 1980s gave rise to what has been described as the second ‘Summer of Love’ of 1988-1989. This was the peak of the countercultural side of nightclub culture, with raves taking the nightclub scene by storm. However, rave culture provoked a sharp response from authorities. Particularly because it often relied on taking over abandoned spaces and reimagining them as nightclubs.

Interestingly, this countercultural, highly politicized side to nightclub culture was eventually followed by hyper commercialization. From the late 1990s onwards, electronic music underwent a period of intense mainstream commercialization, particularly through the famous ‘Ministry of Sound’ nightclub and record label.

Commercialization led the nightclub scene to pivot from the industrialized environments of Berlin and Manchester towards Mediterranean landscapes like Ibiza. From then onwards, the nightclub scene underwent a period of slow decline to where it is today.

Between the early 2000s to today, the number of nightclub locations has fallen sharply, particularly in the UK. Despite this, a subversive side still lives on. The digital revolution brought about by the internet is reimagining the nightclub scene. What shape this will take remains to be seen, however, what is clear is that nightclubs will always move with the times.

For a more detailed history of night clubs, check out this awesome interactive feature An Incomplete History of Clubbing you can easily swipe through the evolution of the club.

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LGBTQIA+ Therapists Are Essential: Here’s how to find the right one

The right fit makes a world of difference when it comes to finding a therapist. Many people are aware that therapists often use different therapy modalities, have varying educational backgrounds, or focus on specific concerns such as anxiety or trauma. However, what you may not know is that there are also therapists who specialize in working with various populations. This is imperative for many people when it comes to getting the most out of therapy.

Why LGBTQIA+ Therapists Are Essential

Why are LGBTQIA+ therapists so important? It just makes sense that someone that has a similar identity may have shared experiences in which they can help delve deeper into. There are many reasons as to why this is the case, but here are some of the most vital:

Understanding

Since an LGBTQIA+ therapist is more likely to be versed in matters that impact LGBTQIA+ individuals, finding an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist can give you a sense of understanding that you might struggle to find otherwise. Sometimes, you’ll want to talk about your life in the context of an LGBTQIA+ experience, and having someone who understands that context makes a world of difference. This may come down to the nuances of your relationships, gender dysphoria, systemic barriers facing LGBT community, world issues or events that impact LGBTQIA+ individuals, terms that you use, or something else.

Trust

Whether you’re seeking individual therapy, group therapy, or couples therapy, it can be a lot easier to start trusting a mental health professional if you go into it knowing that you’re safe both physically and emotionally. You don’t have to trust a provider on the first session in any case, but it can help you have a better therapeutic connection in the sense that you know that you can truly be open and show every aspect of who you are in therapy.

Even if a therapist is accepting, if they don’t specialize in the LGBTQIA+ population, what can sometimes happen is that a person feels as though they have to keep things inside as a reflex. On the other hand, if you know what population a therapist works with, it can be a lot easier to let your guard down and talk about what’s going on in your life, especially if that’s something you’d struggle with otherwise.

Progress

When you feel like you can talk to your therapist about anything that’s on your mind, and when you’re able to achieve that sense of safety and understanding we all want in and outside of therapy, you’re more likely to make the progress you want to make. Depending on what you’re looking for (some people will seek ongoing mental health support, whereas others may attend one or two sessions to get a letter for a medical procedure through the informed consent model, etc.), this can save a lot of time, money, and stress. It’s also worth noting that certain concerns, such as eating disorders, are more prevalent in the LGBTQIA+ population. An LGBTQIA+ therapist is more likely to understand how these different factors may intersect so that they can support you holistically.

Finding A LGBTQIA-Friendly Therapist

Here are some ways to go about finding an LGBTQIA+ therapist:

  1. Ask your doctor for a referral to an LGBTQIA+ therapist in your area.
  2. Search the web for an LGBTQIA+ therapist in your area using search terms such as “LGBTQIA+ therapist near me.”
  3. Ask local LGBTQIA+ community organizations for recommendations. This may be particularly beneficial if you aren’t comfortable asking your doctor or are struggling to find providers who meet your needs. If you are a student at a college or university, you may have a counseling center or LGBTQIA+ student resource center that can help.
  4. Use an online therapy website. Many online therapy websites like BetterHelp have licensed LGBTQIA+ therapists. Often, when you sign up for a reputable online therapy website, they’ll have you take a quick questionnaire that’ll help you find the right match. It’s also often faster and more affordable to find a provider through an online therapy website.

If you want to learn more about mental health and therapy, visit Mind Diagnostics to take mental health quizzes and read about everything from depression to even video game addiction. When you’re ready to try therapy, you can tap in your zip code and you’ll see a range of providers in your area who work with various populations, concerns, and modalities.

Simply type in your zip code, and you’ll see a range of providers in your area who work with various populations, concerns, and modalities. Regardless of how you reach out for support, take pride in doing so. Asking for support is something to be proud of, and you deserve to get the help you need.

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What happened to Victor Sykes from ‘Boy Erased’ (and who is John Smid?)

So you recently watched Boy Erased about gay conversion therapy and you wanted to know more about Victor Sykes — the Executive Director of the Love In Action center. Continue reading “What happened to Victor Sykes from ‘Boy Erased’ (and who is John Smid?)”

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What is Ezra Miller’s race? Is the young actor part-Asian or multi-racial?

Watching Justice League this last week was my first exposure to Ezra Miller, the actor that played the superhuman speedster Flash on the iconic superhero team. Continue reading “What is Ezra Miller’s race? Is the young actor part-Asian or multi-racial?”

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Last night, Austin Rogers surpassed $300,000 on Jeopardy (and revealed whether he’s gay)

Austin Rogers, the internet darling of Jeopardy won his eighth straight game, surpassing $300,000 in total winnings, and clarifies who is partner was.  Continue reading “Last night, Austin Rogers surpassed $300,000 on Jeopardy (and revealed whether he’s gay)”

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Who was the man that Aaron Carter had a sexual relationship with when he was 17?

In a heartfelt message to his Twitter followers, Aaron Carter revealed that he started having feelings of attraction to men as early as 13 years of age. Continue reading “Who was the man that Aaron Carter had a sexual relationship with when he was 17?”

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Is Tom Holland Gay? Six reasons why some question his sexuality (Updated)

There’s a slew of reasons why people question whether Tom Holland is gay. It’s no different than the sexuality questions that surround any male celebrity. It happens all the time and it derives from our culture’s expectations of male behavior Continue reading “Is Tom Holland Gay? Six reasons why some question his sexuality (Updated)”

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Whoa! All David Barton gym locations have suddenly closed in NYC

Did all the David Barton gyms close? Unfortunately yes, the popular gym has closed all their locations in New York City.
Continue reading “Whoa! All David Barton gym locations have suddenly closed in NYC”

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Marvel finally has a major character that’s an Asian American male.. and it’s the Hulk!

It’s been a long time coming for Asian American male characters in the major comic book universes. We’ve had to be content with super-powered stereotypes Shang Chi, Sunfire and Collective Man, but we’ll finally have the first-ever Asian American lead character. Continue reading “Marvel finally has a major character that’s an Asian American male.. and it’s the Hulk!”

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Conservative news sites spin Taiwan tragedy to push anti-gay agenda

New footage of the recent tragedy at a water park in Taiwan is being twisted by conservative “news” sites for their fucked-up agendas. Continue reading “Conservative news sites spin Taiwan tragedy to push anti-gay agenda”

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Gay Marriage is Legal! Let’s celebrate SCOTUS’ decision with cartoons and memes!

With a 5-4 majority vote by the Supreme Court, same-sex marriage has been legalized across all 50 states in the United States of America. Continue reading “Gay Marriage is Legal! Let’s celebrate SCOTUS’ decision with cartoons and memes!”

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Iceman comes out as gay

There’s a handful of comic characters that have come out in the last decade, but none of them as well-known as Iceman’s outing in “All-New X-Men” #40. Continue reading “Iceman comes out as gay”

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Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff takes stand against Indiana anti-gay law

I normally shy away from talking about work, but with the recent announcement by our CEO to reduce Salesforce’s presence in Indiana in the face of the state’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act – that’s worth calling out. Continue reading “Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff takes stand against Indiana anti-gay law”

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Rockdogs win basketball gold in the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland

Had to post this a little congratulations to the San Francisco Rockdogs, my traveling basketball team / teammates. The Rockdogs took home the basketball gold medal in the “open” division by defeating Los Angeles United 41-35 in the championship game of the Gay Games. Continue reading “Rockdogs win basketball gold in the 2014 Gay Games in Cleveland”

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Kiki and Herb perform at Justin Bond’s 20th “Tranniversary” Show

I just saw my fifth Justin Bond performance this past week when Bond packed the house for her 20th “Tranniversary” at the (le) poisson rouge.  Continue reading “Kiki and Herb perform at Justin Bond’s 20th “Tranniversary” Show”

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The list of gay basketball players continues to grow with another coming out

College basketball player Derrick Gordon comes out

With Derrick Gordon coming out today, the UMASS shooting guard adds his name to a growing list of gay male basketball players that have come out in the media.  Continue reading “The list of gay basketball players continues to grow with another coming out”

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Guy checks out woman’s ass and it’s cool until he find out it’s a man

File under: why? I’ve always appreciated the way women compliment each other’s physical attributes without fear that their sexuality will be challenged, and if it is, they don’t care. It’s just built into the way women interact and it’s socially acceptable. Continue reading “Guy checks out woman’s ass and it’s cool until he find out it’s a man”

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As expected, public opinion and money trump “religious freedom” bill

And SB 1062 – the “religious freedom” bill – goes down. It’s too bad really for each passing day that the bill existed was a boon for LGBT rightsContinue reading “As expected, public opinion and money trump “religious freedom” bill”

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Rainbows! Castro to remain tacky as fuck

Are you holding out hope that the Castro will someday pull itself out of the early 1990’s? That maybe one day, San Francisco’s historically gay district will grow up and won’t be as tacky and unfortunately campy as it has been the last decade plus? Continue reading “Rainbows! Castro to remain tacky as fuck”

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Don’t worry, Arizona’s “anti-gay” bill will actually further LGBT rights

Yesterday, Arizona’s Republican-heavy Senate approved a bill that allowed businesses to deny service to gays and lesbians based on religious beliefs.

Sounds like a step in the wrong direction, right? Continue reading “Don’t worry, Arizona’s “anti-gay” bill will actually further LGBT rights”

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