12 ridiculous items from the SkyMall catalog or “I have too much money”

I can’t tell whether SkyMall actually sells these products in their catalog or if it’s some kind of creative marketing move to draw in suckers like me to talk about it.  

Does SkyMall actually sell replica Easter Island Monoliths  — in both a four foot ($475) and six foot ($995) models — or am I dense as a huge rock and missing out on the joke? Most of the items in the magazine seem like legit products that rational Americans might actually purchase.  Then there are items like the VelociraptorSkyRest Travel Pillow or life-size Abomiable Snowman Yeti that make it seems like I’m flipping through the bizarro Sharper Image closeout catalog.

Here are 12 items I found to be the most ridiculous in the SkyMall catalog.

Full Mosquito protection bodysuit from SkyMall Catalog
Mosquito Jacket with face netting hood

Who actually needs a hooded mosquito jacket in the United States? Someone bougie or reads too much into West Nile Virus outbreaks , that’s who. Unless you’re going to Africa (and even then you get the sideeye) then either you have too much money or this is the worst Halloween costume ever.

Easter Island conversation piece from SkyMall Catalogue
Replica Easter Island statue in both large and extra large $995.00

CMON.

SkyMall Bigfoot Peekaboo Garden Statue
It’s like a Garden Gnome, but bigger and hiding behind a tree (Bigfoot Statue is $69.95)

This is a joke, right?

Sasquatch statue
Bigfoot is peeking out from behind your backyard tree $39.95

Okay, not a dog person, but I could see myself buying this for laughs.

Self-Cleaning Litterbox from SkyMall Magazine
The 24/7 Self-Cleaning Litterbox $359.99

If you’re buying this, you have way more space in your house than you know what to do with. Plus it’s ugly as fuck.

Hear better with an Ear Amplifier/Dongle
Hear better with an Ear Amplifier/Dongle/Earring $299..95
Leg Circulation Pants or something
Wrap your legs up to help circulation for only $199.95
Knight Statue from SkyMall Magazine
Full-Sized 6-Foot Tall Knight Statue for $995

Like, what is the $12/hour SkyMall warehouse worker thinking about humanity when they walk by 150 shrink-wrapped human-sized Knight statues at $995 before tax?

CD/DVD bookshelg holds 2000+ CDs
You have an awesome CD collection! Storage Tower holds 2,262 CDs or 456 Disney Tapes!

I know people still have CDs. Hell, I made two moves in the last 16 months and I still can’t part with them all. That said, 2,000 CDs is a lot and your collection of compact discs are no longer reflecting on your tastes the same way they did in the 1990s.

iPhone Holder on your Wrist from SkyMall Magainze
Who needs the Apple iWatch? $19..99
Mounted Squirrel from SkyMall Catalog
Mounted Squirrel Trophy $24.95

Now this was the item where I looked around the small commuter plane for hidden cameras and thought “OKAY AM I BEING PUNKED!?” I gave the attendant a sly smile to let her know that I was also in on the joke. Sadly, she returned a nervous smile and just walked away. IT’S NOT A DREAM/NIGHTMARE THIS IS REAL.

Airplane SkyRest from SkyMall Catalog
The  “Skyrest” Airplane Cuddler $29.95

You like all that crazy shit? Then you might also like this crazy shit:

More crazy shit from SkyMall Magazine
More crazy shit from SkyMall Magazine
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