Never quite understood why my smartphone wasn’t intelligent enough to know that I have a consistently dumb mouth.
All this talk of drones, the internet of things, artificial intelligence and other technological advances and I can’t teach my ducking smartphone to auto correct my filthy trashmouth vocabulary through simple repetition?
I’ve wasted a fruit fly’s lifetime backspacing and manually correcting swear words that have been auto-corrected to something much more innocuous. Never does that replaced word ever have the same impact, and rarely is it ever funny.
I say “rarely” instead of “never” because I finally got an autocorrect that was somewhat interesting. When I started typing out motherfucker today, I got “Mother Fulkerson” as a suggested replacement.
Who is Mother Fulkerson?
I’ve never knowingly typed in “Mother Fulkerson,” so where could this have come from? I checked all the contacts* in my phone’s directory and no sign of a Fulkerson to be found.
Not much of a history buff or bookworm, and since I am only moderately culturally aware, there was a good chance that the auto correct could have came from popular culture. Maybe Mother Fulkerson was a famous historical figure, a fictional vampire character, or perhaps an indie cult band that was trending.
I did an exact match Google query on mama Fulkerson. Nothing in the search results indicated that there was a famous maternal Fulkerson.
So what gives? The mystery of Mother Fulkerson continues…
*Adding swear words into your contacts as names is probably the best surefire way to ensure that your favorite cuss words come out on the first try. It makes sense because some of my friends’ nicknames might as well be motherfulkerson. Damnit!